Loving kindness--bit of a challenge for me. I can be irritated so easliy when I'm tired or tired and driving in traffic.
I listened to the tapes and tried to relax and follow the instructions for thinking about someone I love, then someone who is hurting right now, and then a group of strangers. It was easy to think loving kindness to my husband and my mother-in-law who is hurting and now needs another hip replacement. It was a challenge thinking about loving kindness for the strangers--it wasn't as deep.
In answer to the "mental work" out concept--it is a "daily committment" on our part to train ourselves to feel and believe loving kindness. "One hour a day" in two types of practice: 1) loving kindness--focus less on ourselves and more on others and their well being. 2) the subtle mind--training our mind to be quiet--big challenge for me. I'm not sure about the research other than the author's experience, which I guess could be considered research. Dr. Dacher reinforces over and over again that all the work we put into this will pay off.
I am going to try these mental workouts in the morning before I go to work and before bed and see how they help. All for now.
P.S. I applied the "loving kindness" on the way into work today in traffic. I need more practice--but it did help initially.
It is great that you put the effort out and applied the loving kindness on the way to work, every bit helps :) I find meditations and all things spiritual easy as I am a spiritual person myself so the exercise was a breeze. I am extremely compassion so giving love out to all is not hard for me. Have you read the book 'The Secret'? Truly inspiring :)Basically it talks about the Law of Attraction, whatever energy we give out 'positive thoughts' we always get back in other ways. I am though impatient with myself so I always have to talk to myself and tell myself it gets me nowhere rushing as I miss the point! Lol ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the recommendation, Lou. I have heard of that book, and perhaps after completing this program I will have time to read it.
ReplyDeleteYour diligence should be commended for not being frustrated during this mental workout. Several times I tried to focus during this exercise but the continual distractions of the waves broke my concentration during this exercise. The only time I was able to get close to the emotions that were expected was when I thought of family members such as my brother and mother. Much like you I feel that was because of the deep connections we have with our families, so during the point in the workout when we had to focus on strangers my focus declined. I completely agree with you that this takes time and continual practice. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI too had a hard time with this exercise. It was easy to picture love when I thought about my kids however the stranger part kind of threw me off. I show respect to everyone however to show the same love that I would show to a loved one is difficult. I'm not sure if I had a hard time just because I am stressed out at the moment or I'm sarcastic but either way I would not do this exercise on my own; it is not for me.
ReplyDeleteHi Caroline,
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from. It is harder to be loving and kind when you're tired, exhausted and just irritable. I'm even irritable when I'm hungry too. The beginning of the exercise was easier for me, but like you mentioned when you're suppose to picture strangers suffering and love one. It was harder to do. Strangers didn't relfect much but when it comes to a loved one- I had more emotions other than kindness and loving. Its more like why is he/she suffering, who caused it? type of emotions. LOL
Great insight
I had a hard time sending loving thoughts to people I don't care. It was far more difficult than sending the same loving thoughts and well wishes to the people I hold dear.
ReplyDeleteI have a great deal concentrating on these types of exercises as my mind wanders easily, but I was a little tired when I started and found it easier to "zone out." I even began to feel sleepy at one point and had to remind myself to focus and finish the exercise.
I do agree when you are stressed out or irritable, something like this can be really hard to complete successfully!
Being stuck in traffic has to be the worst. I also find that I have a short temper and patience level with stupid people or with people not doing their job. Be it someone at the grocery store or a customer service rep, after an extensive 15 minute wait to speak with a live operator. I often feel like a victim at times or wondering if I am too encased in my own head. Regardless I am not on a progressive path toward conscious unity. This takes practice. After completing this exercise I felt amazing. Truly, I felt lighter, more energetic, and more clearly headed than I was the whole day prior. This will definitely have to be often of the tools that I use daily to combat stress and bring about a better vibration within. Fueling thyself with loving-kindness and “digesting” any unhealthy attitudes or mental images is a sanctuary for the aspiring healing heart.
ReplyDeleteHi Caroline,
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what you meant about it not being as deep when you were trying to think of loving kindness toward strangers. My take is that you meant it was harder to embrace it as opposed to the same efforts towards those you know and care about. This is certainly the way I felt moving through the exercise. It was definitely easier to feel the love coming in when thinking about my grandmother, someone I absolutely love and admired deeply.
Definitely I am in the same mental workout mode as you. This is going to take some practice on my part before I really get good at it!
Sandy
Hi Caroline!
ReplyDeleteYou must live in a big city or work in the city, if you have to fight traffic everyday. Just remember when you are in that traffic, and you feel yourself getting frustrated, that you cannot do anything about the traffic as much as you would like to, you can't but move with it-so, mind as well keep your 'mind' at peace and be patient. I hope this advice helps with your irritation :s !! I am glad to hear you have been working on your mental work out and have done the Loving-Kindness exercise. Personally the loving kindness exercise is fine and all, but if you have read Chpt 7 in Dachers book calm-biding exercise is better I feel, because you focus on one focal point which is your breathing, and after a while you experience stillness in your mind..and its a wonderful feeling. I got a head a little bit ~! :) Well, you take care and Good luck with your meditations. I hope you find 'your' peace of mind
Nicole